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About Varied / Hobbyist Member SpiderUnited States Recent Activity
Deviant for 8 Years
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Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
.. "Some people are meant for this life, and some aren't."

iamthatis... 'They who is lost in space, They who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire Cat, someday...I will suddenly leave...but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant... I am they you see in the photograph from some party someplace, or some picture in the park, the one who is in fact, soon to be gone...When you look at the picture again...I want to assure you I will no longer be there ...I will be erased like a traitor in the soviet union...Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more.. Invisible...'

"Maybe I existed only as long as someone was looking at me, or thinking about me...The rest of the time where was I? Who was I? What happens to a person when no one's thinking about heir anymore"

“Sometimes when no one was around I got the feeling that maybe I was slipping into that empty nowhere place. I could feel it happening and I’d look around searching for something to hold onto, but there was never anything there any more…”

"I dreamed a shadow was chasing me, trying to run me down. When I awoke, I remembered the shadow and I knew the shadow was mine. It was me, unborn, the truth about who I really was, an unborn child who had accidentally slipped out of place-a mistake. That's what I knew: I wasn't real."

"It used to be that whenever I saw myself it was a surprise, a shock. Mine was the pale blank stare of a stranger. But now when I looked in the mirror there was a new surprise,a new expectation, and it seemed to frighten me more than anything. Because now , I didn't expect to see my reflection at all."

'Rahel,unable to cope with seesawing changes in heir life, had raveled heirself like a sausage into the dirty airport curtain, and wouldn't unravel' "Just ignore heir" 'Ammu said."zhe's trying to attract attention" 'Ammu too was wrong. Rahel was trying to not attract the attention that zhe deserved'

"the image you have inside your mind is of they who drifts into the night merrily a figure faceless and dead "

'Shock swelled in heir like phantom applause in an empty auditorium. It overflowed in a wave of vomit and left heir mute and empty eyed. Zhe had come to heal heir wounded world and had lost all of it instead. Zhe shattered like glass.' -wthedt

Heir memory of the days that followed was fuzzy. Shivery and furred like moth's feet. Long dim hours of thick, tongued serenity lacerated by sharp, steely slashes of hysteria, as keen and cutting as the edge of a new razor blade. zhe remembered faintly how at night the bush crickets had sounded like creaking stars and amplified the fear and gloom that hung in the air. zhe never forgot heir irrational rage.

It is unreasonable to expect a person to remember what zhe didn't know had happened.

Which was their way of saying to a colleague traveling into the heart of darkness that:

A. Anything can happen to anyone,


B. Everything can change in a day.

zhe Went fourth into the world, & far more quickly than ever should have happened, zhe became a memory. While her loss grew robust and alive. like a fruit in season. Every season. "

Current Residence: Portland OR
deviantWEAR sizing preference: ? Men's med Womens Large?
Print preference: No Idea
Favourite genre of music: NO FAV! Trance, thrash, rock, alternative, good rap, world beat, classical, folk, Irish, misc. etc.
Favourite photographer: um... ALEX N. Speaks! ^-^ Albert Eng, Tom Good, Eric Rice
Favourite style of art: NO favorites!; I do love Art Nuevo and Pre-raphelite art thought
Operating System: *shrugs* Windows?
MP3 player of choice: ?
Shell of choice: ?
Wallpaper of choice: ?
Skin of choice: ?
Favorite cartoon character: Daria? um..Ikis! &..NI HAO KAI LAN! Raven,The tick, Rouge, Chung li,NINJA TURTLES! pinky & the brain!
Personal Quote: I adhere to; " Anything can happen to anyone, Everything can change in a day"

" Who will be my brother? "

Journal Entry: Tue Aug 7, 2012, 1:13 PM
this instant...一遍…

" I

would rather



than live

another day

of this


  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: The movie Inception Chinese Dubbed
  • Reading: Sophies world
  • Watching: Inception Dubbed in Chinese
  • Playing: Inception In Chinese
  • Eating: Clam Chowder with corn in it
  • Drinking: Orange and spice tea

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Add a Comment:
Niophee Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Photographer
thx so much for the fave :happybounce:

Sorry for the late reply!
red-gold-sparks Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for all the favs :)
MongJa9 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Student General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:
acidskittles Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
dfoley75 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the star!
ElectricBlueSquid Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Student General Artist
Thanks for the +fav Love 
harlewood Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015   Artisan Crafter
thanks for the fav!
keatts2 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2015
Thanks for the :+fav:'s!

Joe-Roberts Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
 Thanks for faving :)
Demon by Joe-Roberts 
Rollwurst Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the fav :hug:
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